Red Poppies - Anyone Else but You

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grace
diary
blog
rant
leave

we'll see how i die later
but i have decided not to care... so much anyway
but. argh
same shiz ahhhhhhhhhhhh
gonna be dead the whole day for sure
there goes my plan
thursday maybe? but thats kinda weirdish too
we havent been talking for real long
see the chasm it is there
closer suddenly and further not so suddenly at all
rahh dang dont whisk the eggs
regret regret
everything
omg
awhile more
maybe an hour-ish
so understated
what to do with all the pretty icings then?
huge mess of everything
EVERYTHING

i suddenly want to be back there
when i was there it was kinda whatever
just live for the moment
now i want back
next time im going back again spring/summer-ish
im gonna stay like what
many many weeks
laze around and familiarize myself with the place
take it easy
none of the vacationrushshizz and all
nuh
all nice and slow and yay get to know
stellenbosch town yay yay yay
walk around
and then franschoek for awhile maybe
and hout bay
i miss you all now too late
beach
yes
that we never visited

i need a holiday
i need starbucks
although i just had one today
and at the mostest therapeutic starbucks
ohwell either it didnt work or
so much has happened that i destroyed all the calming aftereffects
like how you just CANT have a backache right after a back massage

oh well.

saw stacy today
called kongy today

i am jittery because of the new year i dont want it to come i want to stay at home and sulk and do whatever i like and not welcome the new year because i do not welcome it at all i am dreading it i dunno why christmas was okay church was yay so christmas was somewhat yay happy but yeah i dont think i particularly looked forward to it or anything i dunno everything makes me sad oh shiz i am emo hahaha

yes veeass i am random
i guess
but maybe im just feeling random now because it is 6am in the morning (what the shiz)
my mind is flipping and thoughts bounce themselves of the walls of my mind
i am horridly awake although i am sleepy(ish) but the awakeness dampens my sleepiness shucks
okya i am rantingrantingranting incoherently obviously k rubbishes

i dont know why i felt so weird just now there really wasnt anything to be sad about im not sure if i want to get out with them i dont feel particularly high so ya i dunno so weird huh its about a week away so i shouldnt care anyway i am glad i have plans for frids yay me because it is an awesome plan everything works out ha later i hope there is someone new that would be fun yay scare him cos it is always a him unless i bring my friend then well her but ive never really asked anyone actually there was only once we had someone different ohwell i hope we have someone different it makes it more fun(ish) and i dunno im in the mood for new stuff and random stuff and surprises

i still dont know what it is that makes me sad but its always the same i know its always the same
feed my mind
ah
crazyness never ceases to exist
no sad shows just happy funny yay ones
i know i keep saying yay i just stuff it into my sentences anyway

dying
out again soonish
i promise myself
or i shall go maddish
and photojournalling
although i am bad at it
only good at photorandoming
but photos were good today
took weird stuff
and a lot of the same stuff
but nice stuff anyhow
yay for hoodie
saved my day
i got horridly lost
and i walked rounds and rounds
and oh
the sun blah
but finally i found what i wanted
and i was smart about it so yay
and i saw the red i wanted
red and dark yay too bad no photos
that wouldve been awesome
and i woulda put up missing photos
just for fun maybe
look through the glass
again some time
but i doubt i will find anything of interest again
definitely out soon so i dont go mad
feel very detached these few days
be a stranger
be a sojourner
be yay
and camwars although i hardly ever
but i did them for my socks and to get
nice looking random looking pics
but always pink cos im home
skirt soon out and more photos same place
meet again maybe
if youre lucky we will
but i think not haha
nevermind maybe something else will catch my eye
although i doubt so
one in a million
never even ever happens

xxx
need to get away
i get the feeling now
meet me at the park
soon-ish (: xo

Labels: abstract, being mad, drunk, random musings

and the air smells of crisp apple cider;