but i have decided not to care... so much anyway but. argh same shiz ahhhhhhhhhhhh gonna be dead the whole day for sure there goes my plan thursday maybe? but thats kinda weirdish too we havent been talking for real long see the chasm it is there closer suddenly and further not so suddenly at all rahh dang dont whisk the eggs regret regret everything omg awhile more maybe an hour-ish so understated what to do with all the pretty icings then? huge mess of everything EVERYTHING i suddenly want to be back there when i was there it was kinda whatever just live for the moment now i want back next time im going back again spring/summer-ish im gonna stay like what many many weeks laze around and familiarize myself with the place take it easy none of the vacationrushshizz and all nuh all nice and slow and yay get to know stellenbosch town yay yay yay walk around and then franschoek for awhile maybe and hout bay i miss you all now too late beach yes that we never visited i need a holiday i need starbucks although i just had one today and at the mostest therapeutic starbucks ohwell either it didnt work or so much has happened that i destroyed all the calming aftereffects like how you just CANT have a backache right after a back massage oh well. saw stacy today called kongy today i am jittery because of the new year i dont want it to come i want to stay at home and sulk and do whatever i like and not welcome the new year because i do not welcome it at all i am dreading it i dunno why christmas was okay church was yay so christmas was somewhat yay happy but yeah i dont think i particularly looked forward to it or anything i dunno everything makes me sad oh shiz i am emo hahaha yes veeass i am random i guess but maybe im just feeling random now because it is 6am in the morning (what the shiz) my mind is flipping and thoughts bounce themselves of the walls of my mind i am horridly awake although i am sleepy(ish) but the awakeness dampens my sleepiness shucks okya i am rantingrantingranting incoherently obviously k rubbishes i dont know why i felt so weird just now there really wasnt anything to be sad about im not sure if i want to get out with them i dont feel particularly high so ya i dunno so weird huh its about a week away so i shouldnt care anyway i am glad i have plans for frids yay me because it is an awesome plan everything works out ha later i hope there is someone new that would be fun yay scare him cos it is always a him unless i bring my friend then well her but ive never really asked anyone actually there was only once we had someone different ohwell i hope we have someone different it makes it more fun(ish) and i dunno im in the mood for new stuff and random stuff and surprises i still dont know what it is that makes me sad but its always the same i know its always the same feed my mind ah crazyness never ceases to exist no sad shows just happy funny yay ones i know i keep saying yay i just stuff it into my sentences anyway dying out again soonish i promise myself or i shall go maddish and photojournalling although i am bad at it only good at photorandoming but photos were good today took weird stuff and a lot of the same stuff but nice stuff anyhow yay for hoodie saved my day i got horridly lost and i walked rounds and rounds and oh the sun blah but finally i found what i wanted and i was smart about it so yay and i saw the red i wanted red and dark yay too bad no photos that wouldve been awesome and i woulda put up missing photos just for fun maybe look through the glass again some time but i doubt i will find anything of interest again definitely out soon so i dont go mad feel very detached these few days be a stranger be a sojourner be yay and camwars although i hardly ever but i did them for my socks and to get nice looking random looking pics but always pink cos im home skirt soon out and more photos same place meet again maybe if youre lucky we will but i think not haha nevermind maybe something else will catch my eye although i doubt so one in a million never even ever happens xxx need to get away i get the feeling now meet me at the park soon-ish (: xo Labels: abstract, being mad, drunk, random musings and the air smells of crisp apple cider; dont go to sleep though your eyes are heavy and shutting your head is heavy your mind is weak your eyes are shutting but you still fight sleep you feel your brain laying to rest in your head but you still stay awake your eyes stay open you will them to be light not heavy and you continue writing this poem is for you all my nocturnal friends whose brains lay to rest but heads stay attached to the compelling screen which lies before you sucking your mind and making time run pass you at the end of your morning you sit and wonder where the time went and of what you have pondered Labels: poem and the air smells of crisp apple cider; pick and choose those you want to use pick the best leave the rest string them together one and two if they dont make sense rearrange rearrange rearrange them until they do just always remember that you use the words the words do not use you ___________________________________ stare at your nails shiny and glossy just like vinyl so fake so unreal think of all the hurt that has been passed today a handphone lost and a friend or two maybe too much has passed away i think of you yes i think of you and all these hurts and pains these things will pass i promise you like all the pain that was passed today ___________________________________ love you two and thanks kmj a lot i am incredibly indebted to you Labels: abstract, poem, random musings and the air smells of crisp apple cider; by Eugene and Grace Level 1 - kopitiam(coffeeshop) Level 2 - food court Level 3 - coffeebean Level 4 - spinelli Level 5 - starbucks Level 6 - pacific coffee Level 7 - gloria jeans coffee Level 8 - tcc Level 9 - hotel Level 10 - country club (and play golf) Level 11 - fly to brazil and drink coffee Level 12 - drink at some super high class hotel in france Level 13 - become coffee connoiseur Mastery of Coffee Drinking Level - Drink at your own coffee plantation Extreme Mastery of Coffee Drinking Level - stay at home drink 3 in 1 coffee (cos there's no place like home) what level are you? (note: we took super long to compile this cos we argued a lot about the spinelli/starbucks levels and the hotel/country club levels. and we took over an hour cos we started discussing coffee at 4.47pm according to my chat logs :D yeah we rot. totally.) Labels: random weirdness, utter weirdness and the air smells of crisp apple cider; laugh at people who take themselves too seriously like, seriously (:P) random fact: i cant stand berets. i dont think they look good on anyone, at all. period. Labels: random musings, random weirdness and the air smells of crisp apple cider;
Are You An Extroverted or Introverted Girl? Labels: blogthings and the air smells of crisp apple cider;
What Color Should Your Eyes Be? Labels: blogthings and the air smells of crisp apple cider;
What Color Nail Polish Best Fits You? Labels: blogthings and the air smells of crisp apple cider;
What Kind of Sweater Are You? Labels: blogthings and the air smells of crisp apple cider;
What Donut Are You? Labels: blogthings and the air smells of crisp apple cider;
What Language Should You Learn? Labels: blogthings and the air smells of crisp apple cider;
How Happy Are You? Labels: blogthings and the air smells of crisp apple cider;
What Type of Writer Should You Be? Labels: blogthings and the air smells of crisp apple cider;
How Indie Are You? Labels: blogthings and the air smells of crisp apple cider;
What Does Your Handwriting Say About You? Labels: blogthings and the air smells of crisp apple cider;
What Kind of Gift Giver Are You? Labels: blogthings and the air smells of crisp apple cider;
The Socks Personality Test * im not quite sure about this one, i dont think im cuddly or adorable (lol), im quite patient but not infinitely, and i must say im definitely not kind (or truly kind). im sure jac will totally agree with that. haha! Labels: blogthings and the air smells of crisp apple cider;
The Wedding Dress Test Labels: blogthings and the air smells of crisp apple cider;
What Color Purple Are You? Labels: blogthings and the air smells of crisp apple cider;
How Do You Communicate? Labels: blogthings and the air smells of crisp apple cider; not everyone can do like she did not everyone would dare to do it i wonder if and the air smells of crisp apple cider; i was shocked/embarrassed/traumatised when i read that but eugene was not, which is superly unfair but anyw, _______________________ DELETE DELETE DELETE! _______________________ ZOMGAH Labels: 2 integ, memories, utter weirdness and the air smells of crisp apple cider; go(ld) figure Labels: abstract, random weirdness and the air smells of crisp apple cider; insensitivity that is what always reminds me of you with you everything is like, okay...... craziness and madness and more more more and dizziness cos you spin me around and around and around i dont know who to believe i dont know what to believe with you everything is just 'i dont know' flip around and make it higher you push me to my limits you fan the fires everything is about 'you' and 'i dont know' perhaps its because i dont know you at all Labels: you and the air smells of crisp apple cider; the end. Labels: abstract, random musings and the air smells of crisp apple cider; wreck my thoughts play games with my mind now im confused especially this time i dont know which way to go im at the crossroads i thought i knew what i wanted i thought i had chosen my path but apparently not, because at the crossroads is where i find myself its going to be tough is all i can say _____________________________________ so many new things to try but all for another day _____________________________________ im half awake now just half i dont really know what i want or what im thinking so im just gonna leave my thoughts for tomorrow and we'll see how it works out i need to make a list i need to plan i need to revamp clear clear and change again cos i cannot stay the same for too long again im back and unfortunately i think the old me's back too pretty bad huh im not sure what good it did for me anymore im back to me, cynicism and question marks what to do and what to not i thought i was changed i thought i was different i thought i had another chance to start over but see, i thought wrong again i feel the same all over again _____________________________________ need to change need to change need to change cant stay the same it irritates me _____________________________________ cam and out again i thought i'd feel different, really changed renewed but its back to same old same old and im not even 24hours out fastest ever im relapsing falling back in i feel it same old thang _____________________________________ oh change but not the wrong change and out again again again into the inky black darkness you will not find me _____________________________________ maybe it ate me _____________________________________ i am all rahhdeedahh and blahsplatplaff no more you just me just me out out out and out you go good riddance good bye and have a nice life _____________________________________ aimless wandering boredom is bad splat splat splat or splash splash splash drawings, more drawings and whoopdeedoodash blue sky blue soon very soon because not yet is mad _____________________________________ badbadbadbadbadbadbad how? degeneration takes place in less than 24hours -thats quick just only a jiffy imagine how steep the gradient would be if we drew a graph to let you see _____________________________________ half-asleep half-awake all the same shit _____________________________________ converse new yellow converse i will still keep my pinks now they are faded i love them even more better than whites and better than pinks _____________________________________ i poisoned myself with junkfood for four days straight if it had lasted 10 days i would have died we would all have died in fact i would have died earlier though not from the junkfood but from her but now i regret saying anything at all _____________________________________ make new friends make new life? _____________________________________ my thoughts flow better when im half awake when im fully awake i just feel blank but then when im half awake i cannot be bothered to think things through properly because when i am half awake i am half asleep as well i would keep them for when i am fully awake, but by then i would have forgotten my train of thoughts or just be blanked out so then i lose everything like a faulty harddrive _____________________________________ my mind is running running running... running places fast fast fast quicker than i can imagine i had a dream but i forgot when that was the last four days just suddenly seem like a dream i've just woken up from nothing seems real all like a dream it happened, but all in my mind Labels: abstract, drunk, poem, random musings, so much noise and the air smells of crisp apple cider; BOB. BOB. BOBITTY BOBBITY BOB BOBBITY BOB, BOBITTY BOB, BOBBITY BOBBITY BOB BOB BOB haha! i couldnt resist :D but you should try saying it out loud it sounds cool :P everyone should say it when they're thinking of Bob. or their own Bobs. whatever. hahaha PS: shann, i think i've become lamer since talking to you. very bad. your lameness has rubbed off on me. look at my posts! they have become full of rubbish. :P ily too anywzxzxzxz Labels: poem, random weirdness and the air smells of crisp apple cider; see veeass i am your loyal fan :D (now stop asking me to join pet society! haha!) by mayvees (because she is crazy) Labels: fangirl, fantuany and gang and the air smells of crisp apple cider; suddenly i like you alot GRACE says: good for you :D GRACE says: hahaha Eugene says: LOL and oh yay i love shanna cant wait to meet :D :D (censored) Labels: random weirdness, utter weirdness and the air smells of crisp apple cider; *virtual high five* GRACE says: HAHA Labels: random weirdness and the air smells of crisp apple cider;
by shanna♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ your smile is my ecstacy love you shanna!!!!!!!!!!!
(note: but it doesnt mean i feel like her because i dont. unfortunately. lol. i just like the cow farm part a lottttttttttttt.) Labels: poem and the air smells of crisp apple cider; town tomorrow maybe, just because i want to haunt jacalva and i want to see GEN. haha. i must sound like some weird stalker. but yeah, i want to see gen. haha. (sorry i hope you dont read my blog). slacking at starbucks is tempting but not enough motivation to send me hopping to town. and i havent decided which one to go yet. any other day i'd do city's but thennnnnn jac is gonna be in town, like orchard. soooooo.... i dont know. i mightnt even go down anyway. we'll see (: plus, kong has asked me (not really invited, so, haha) to her house so she can have a MJP(mahjong party! haha!) cos her cousin will be over but that only makes three. unfortunately i 1)do not play mahjong, 2)am not faintly interested in it, 3)have not decided if i want to go over because then they will make me learn mahjong and not let me go to town. i quite want to go to town and slum around and be inconspicuously conspicuous, if i can get my butt out of the house, that is. purple nails, i was thinking maybe brown, but nevermind, purple is good and nice (: dark colours because they are still short. but they're getting longer, then it'll be the cut or nude-ish colours. french maybe? bright colours dont seem to work anyhow, sadly. nail paint! thats what i need. but do they even have such stuff here .____. they never have anything i dont really need ): am bored with staying at home because i have nothing better to do. happily, i have planned much for the next few days and after that it will be youthcamp which is 4 days straight. i havent started stocking up yet, i really should. i cant really say im excited, i dont know why. part of me is scared and dreading- the grouping; the meeting new people; the group-ish stuff. argh. unfamiliarity is something i am particularly bad at. and this year is different, much so from all the other years i've been. but i know its just me who is different. which is the problem, because its me im going with. Labels: random musings, so much noise and the air smells of crisp apple cider; ohimstartingtoyawn. obsession/icanthelpbutmultilabel-itis. hohoho i labelled all possible labels for this post. maybe i should do a random post and talk about everything possible so i can tag it with every single label i have. and more. oh joy. i dont know why i have so many almost-similar labels. why do my hands look old. i am just sixteen. and halfway to seventeen. i never get eyebags. except when im stressed i suppose, because i only got them once- during Olevels. okrandom :P love Labels: abstract, being mad, drunk, haha, random musings, random weirdness, utter weirdness and the air smells of crisp apple cider; mope around dress up weird out of house Labels: poem, random musings and the air smells of crisp apple cider; and the air smells of crisp apple cider; i miss you i dont even know you so it sounds crazyhazymazy boom boom boom and tap tap tapping of my laptop splat splot you evolve a new you again im being stupidcrazyweird i want to meet you i have never met you before but im gonna find you im gonna meet you im gonna stun you like never before okay wishful thinking my time is up tap tap tapping of the keyboard and tap tap tapping of the tap dancer's shoes Labels: ♥ onomatopoeia, poem, you and the air smells of crisp apple cider; so like all the shit we studied in lit class but its true, you'd never guess what everything's like behind the facade. i dont know if its a facade, like intentional, or what. i dont even really know the whole thing myself, except from your point of view. which is unreliable. you're scary. his point of view- he doesnt let me see it, anyhow. but there are glimpses of what its like. i guess it seems pretty normal... but weird that he should say such things to anyone. one wonders. because i wouldnt, although i think the same way. he doesnt put up a facade, he just avoids talking about it in any case. but then, prolly everyone has their own facade. it doesnt have to be some really huge facade or anything, but everyone has one anyway. i often find blogs are most people's facade. you become to people what you make yourself out to be, although it mightn't be what you really are. goes both ways. Labels: so much noise and the air smells of crisp apple cider; what kong said was true, i knew it myself, i just couldnt sort out how i felt about the whole thing. its not always like that, but sometimes, sometimes, i get a glimpse of the gulf that separates us. funny how it isnt always the most apparent thing. sometimes i think maybe im just fooling myself by pretending the gulf doesnt exist. the fact is that it does and that is what will always keep us apart. and when we both see it, the difference is all the more apparent. maybe i should just give it up already. Labels: you and the air smells of crisp apple cider; no i am not okay, in every aspect you can think of. and the air smells of crisp apple cider; Labels: dying and the air smells of crisp apple cider; 11.30pm-there arent any more buses to changi -.- 12am-dad sends us to changi 12.30am-reach changi and go terminal-hopping 1am-we settle at swensen's at T2 and crap a whole lot 3.26am-ly msges me to say she's on the way 3.30am-we make our way back to T1 4.15am-we reach T1 and ly is there and so is everyone else(her entourage, that is) 5.15am-ly goes in, but not before she talks to us and gives everyone a million hugs 5.20am-surprisingly i am able to hold out, but we skip plane watching cos then i really would cry. 5.25am-we head over to T2 for starbucks 5.30am-laze around at starbucks and talk nonsense, still not really tired at all, amazingly 6.30am-we go into the photo-id booth to take some spaz shots. cheap thrill. haha 6.45am-head for the bus home 8.27am-am home now my adventure for the morning. at least we managed to have fun and we'll always remember today. i cried a whole load yesterday, fortunately i didnt cry at the airport. i didnt want to. i dont know why i miss her so so terribly. i try not to think about it, that she isnt here anymore, that she's halfway around the world now, making her way to the US of A. that sucks. please please take me away. i dont want to be here anymore. it hurts. i'll prolly spend the rest of the week holed up in my room. i cant believe its all over; that she's gone. its so horrid, like some nightmare. i wish like crazy that she was still here. im prolly having gastric but i cant even be bothered. just thinking of her being gone hurts more. i didnt think i'd even cry. Labels: memories and the air smells of crisp apple cider; |
- me, today. hit the ground running (accurate as at time of publication) hit the ground running hit the ground running what have we here? hit the ground running |
G♥
has a pink polaroid and no film wanted a pink holga because it was, well, pink believes in non-committalism(i think)(but not really) is still as anti as ever (that's end-without-the-d, tie) starbucks' hot chocolate is pretty good |
Talk is Cheap
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