Red Poppies - Anyone Else but You

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grace
diary
blog
rant
leave

studying makes me giddy
first day of the week and i am ready to fling my hands in the air and run away screaming.
sounds like a plan <:

no sleep tonight
watch this space

Labels: dying

and the air smells of crisp apple cider;

pa-ra-noi-a

and so all the self-destructive shit is starting to surface
hmmhmmhmm
this ought to be interesting, non?

Labels: abstract, dying, random musings

and the air smells of crisp apple cider;

because
because
because
cccccynic

i hate studying
be back inawhile
watch this space

Labels: dying, random weirdness

and the air smells of crisp apple cider;

i've been dreaming these few days
and they havent been good ones
every time i sleep, i dream
maybe that's why im so tired
i dreamt again this afternoon
a long one, just like last night
and i know it was scary
i just dont remember what
but it was running away from
and stuff like that, you know
i dont know why though
maybe its because im afraid
it was a weird dream, it
consisted of stuff i have thought
about before. but way more
fairytale-d and fictional
i dont know, but i know it
has something to do with
you.

Labels: dying, sleepy eepy, thoughts

and the air smells of crisp apple cider;

jealousy and empathy
okay that was random
my w key isnt working too good
which is irritating (to the max, although i dont really want to say that)
the day before it was the e, and the delete, which still is argh

i feel so irritated not being able to go to ork and go out and do the stuff i need to be doing. and being sick is just, ell, sickening. thurs i ouldve gone to enyis but then ell i as sick and plus i didnt ant to pass her the germs too. okay and im dropping all my ws cos their too hard to press and are irritating to type so there. and it sucks that im prolly not orking tmr too, i dont feel too good and best not to go and contaminate everyone else too. suckssssssss. sorry dee i know i shoulda gone to the doctrs on thurs already :/

oh ell

and of course im not answerable for evvvvvraything so stop asking me. dont you know that sometimes _ ____ __ ______ so stop trying to act like you know everything cos some things arent even supposed to make sense! so just, well, stay out of it. and dont even try to ask.

pfft.

shiz i hate being sick. like hello immobility.
but on the other hand i am proud of what i managed to complete (surprise, hoho) yesterd.
but on the other other hand, there i things i need to do and i cant! which is argh.
and i have totally worn out the heel of my shoe, you can see the metal already, like how lousay is that? and so the heels click whenever i walk, geez. but anyw that means i need new shoes but shiz that means shoe shopping, which isnt my favourite thing. sure, i like buying shoes, but shopping for shoes? nuh-uh. (RF face, hello?) lets just say singapore isnt the bessssst place for shoe shopping. at the moment, anyw. especially when your budget isnt like a thousand and up.

Labels: dying, random musings, randumm, today was

and the air smells of crisp apple cider;

insanely exhausted
i feel like dropping back to bed again
i dont know why
i feel like all the air has been sapped from me
i had a bad night
i woke up halfway cos i felt i couldnt sleep, weird thing it is
had some carrot juice and laid myself on the sofa
in hopes of inducing myself to sleep
so incredibly tired but yet unable to sleep
most horrid phenomenon ever
and here i am, horribly exhausted
with my life sucked out of me
i did not even wake when the phone rang
and i wasnt covering my ears,
i was just too incredibly exhausted to link that
phone ringing meant that > i should wake up and > pick up the phone
i just stopped realising anything at the phone ringing part
not that i was awake anyway
i was just slipping in and out of conciousness
and i must've had the longest dream ever
and i feel like a ragged doll
floppy and lifeless,
she cannot lift herself up even if she wanted to

on another note, i am sorry but still too exhausted to make it up.

Labels: dying, random musings

and the air smells of crisp apple cider;

im afraid i might die in my room and no one will know because i havent been eating well since saturday or something and its getting worse since ly left im afraid i might pass out or something and i locked my door and refuse to open it on the account of being asleep. and of course they darent try to open my door with the key lest they find me a heap of tears.

no i am not okay, in every aspect you can think of.

Labels: drunk, dying

and the air smells of crisp apple cider;

i am dead to the world

Labels: dying

and the air smells of crisp apple cider;